Home Sweet Home

Hello everybody! Man, it has been a long time! My sincere apologies if I left you hangin' however, it was all for a good cause.

I am sitting here today in a beautiful home located in Alamo, California. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Alamo, it is located just past Walnut Creek and right before Danville on the 680 freeway. It is about 20 minutes from Oakland and 40 minutes from San Francisco. It is situated in a warm and beautiful tree filled Valley. The climate is quite temperate. Alamo is filled with beautiful mansions and estates as it is such a desirable location. The property that we live in is located on one of those estates. It must've been a guest house originally. It has all the special things that you would expect in an upscale rental including marble floors, crown molding, double paned windows, beveled glass front door, and modern glass bowl sink sitting atop granite counters in the bathroom as well as a 6 burner stove. We are very blessed!

I am also very pleased to announce that I passed my licensing exam (the EPPP)! This was a major hurdle. I was facing on the road to receiving my license to practice. Now I only have to pass a law and ethics exam and take 4 online courses, and I will be ready to submit my application for licensure. This has been a long, long journey. I am studying now for the law and ethics portion. I don't expect that it will take as much of my time as the studying I had been doing. I am very excited to be moving towards getting back to work. There will be so much for me to figure out, but there are a lot of resources and I can look to the people who have gone before me. One of the steps I will be taking is to begin looking for a van. The van that I have is wonderful, yet challenging such that I don't often go places. A different van will make my life so much better. Thank you to everyone who has made it possible!

I guess this is it for now that I have some old posts that I'd like to finish, and I plan to try to keep up with this blog. Thank you for your patience.

Inch by Inch

I wanted to say that I have regained some sensation below my injury. I feel more in my arms and a little bit down my back. I continue to have hope for some recovery. I met a guy who had the same injury as I (C4 incomplete) and he had regained the use of his thumb and forefinger after about three years. This small gain improved his quality of life dramatically. He could drive and feed himself. I am longing to use my hands in any small way. Hands are so important. With your hands, you can do things like touch something, make something, or type a letter. Even the smallest thing like scratching an itch is such a blessing. Don't take your hands for granted. Even though I've had a small improvement, it is very little because yesterday I sat on my hairbrush all day and didn't feel a thing. Luckily, I didn't get hurt but it was disturbing to realize that I didn't feel a thing either. In any case, if you pray, please pray for me. If you have good energy, please send some my way. I will continue to think positive and live in two worlds; the world of dealing with what I have and the world of hope for the future.

I have been away because I am focusing on studying for my licensing exam. This has consumed my days for some time. I plan to take the exam in early May. I will need your juju for that day as well. Thank you to all my supporters. I am a very lucky girl to have so many people love and care about me.

Truly listening…

First of all let me say thank you Siri for all you do for me. I have figured out how to access podcasts using my Bluetooth and today I got to listen to one of my favorites, This American Life. I recommend this weeks episode "Something Only I Can See." This story is a shining example of why really listening to someone is important. To be a good listener, one must set their own selves aside and hear another's experience. I love this story because I can relate so well. I can relate to having medical professionals tell me what I am experiencing or tell me what my reality is, without ever acknowledging that I may know myself. How wonderful to have someone listen to you, no matter how "crazy" you may sound. And guess what? Your experience may actually be true and more enlightened than even the most current scientific thinking. All of that being said, listen to this episode and tell me what you think.

This also leads me to recommend to you a new book by Clyde Dee, "Fighting for Freedom in America: Memoir of a "Schizophrenia" and Mainstream Cultural Delusions." It is an e-book and can be read on the Kindle. The author is a colleague and friend. In this book, Clyde shares his experiences with so-called schizophrenia in the most honest way. If you or someone you have known struggles with mental health and/or other experiences that are not easily explained, you may be able to appreciate this book. Just taking the time to really listen deeply to what another human has experienced is worthwhile. Not to mention, Clyde writes beautifully and courageously honest. I am very impressed with his work and I am honored to know him as a human being.

Last but not least, today I received a response from an inquiry I sent about a job in academia. Just think good thoughts for me as it would do me a great deal of good to have some work. Until next time…

By the way, if you want to respond to any post just send me an email at dr.Brendakay@Gmail.com. Please let me know if you're responses for my eyes only or if I may post it on my blog. I really love to hear from you.

Dream, dream, dream, dream…

You know the song, hopefully. Last night I had a dream  showing off that I could walk. They say that attitude is everything. And, you, of course, have up days and down days. So how do you know whether you have a good attitude? Well, I believe that you must be having a good attitude if you are dreaming of a healing.

I have been doing well. In fact, I have more feeling in my arms these days. I am praying for my hands to heal because that would make life so much easier.

I am still having problems. I am still having problems getting an appointment at UCSF. I am still having problems with my primary care physician. But overall, things are good.

Getting out in the world…

We made a trip to Walnut Creek to look at some possible housing options. May as well stop at Sam's Club to have a hot dog while we are nearby. As we are waiting in line, a woman approaches us and she seems excited. She asked us if we would mind talking with her as she has a sister who had recently become quadriplegic. She was excited to see us out in the world. She was curious about how we had gotten out and why we seemed so happy. We were glad to speak with her. She told us that it would be great if we could meet and/or talk with her sister. Perhaps it might create some hope for the future. We did call and spoke with the sister as well as the mom. It was such a blessing for us to get out of ourselves and remember that things have improved so much during the year. We hope to make a visit real soon and to keep in mind how much things have changed in the last year and a half. A friend called me recently and reminded me that when you let someone help you, you are actually giving them something. This was absolutely the case when this woman approached us. She gave us a very powerful gift by helping us to remember that we are not alone and that we are all connected.

I will remember to reach out to others and to accept the blessings that have been given to me so abundantly.

My gratitude…

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours…

My heart is overflowing with love and gratitude today and I will strive to be mindful of the many and beautiful blessings that I am surrounded by.

• First of all, I am grateful to God
• my partner, Colleen, who has taught me how to love, I am so very grateful…
• Everyone around me, the team, that helps me to be alive every day
• to all my beautiful family, that amaze me with their love and support
• to the many who have taught me so much, along the way
• for my van
• for the feast and the friends we shared today with
• for the housing and my colleagues who have helped me
• for the friends who cannot bring themselves to see me, yet
• Santa Clara Valley Medical Center 
• for music
• for the Department of Rehabilitation
• for JFKU
• for. Ms. Wheelchair USA
• for the earth, the universe
• for ladybugs
• for the ocean
• for my memories
• for the future
• Punkin

Your heart was made to love and be grateful…

2015

Standing Up

I used to teach at Diablo Valley College. When I was injured and in the hospital, it did not occur to me that I had upcoming class until a few days before the class was scheduled to begin. I finally "woke up" and realized that I needed to call my supervisor and let her know what had happened. I assured her that I would be able to return to work the next summer. About six months before my class was to begin, I contacted my supervisor to set up a meeting to discuss what accommodations I might need. She told me, "we gave your class away." I was totally devastated because I love teaching, I am a good teacher, and this was a link to my future that gave me some will to keep fighting. Since then, I have learned some about the Americans with Disabilities Act. I found that I qualified to file a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunities Commission. I chose to do this because it really hurt me to lose that position and I wanted to know whether my feelings of being wronged were valid. I have volunteered to attend mediation regarding this issue and I'm waiting to hear if the college is willing to attend mediation. I contacted the Employment Law Center in San Francisco and was referred to a disability employment workshop in Berkeley where I would be able to meet with a lawyer to discuss the case. The Employment Law Center were very supportive of me and the issue that I have raised. It is my hope that I will be able to get the job back because I can do it with a reasonable accommodation. I will keep you all posted and in the loop. I know that I am not the only one that has experienced this sort of thing. I encourage everyone to stand up for themselves as the worst thing that can happen is that I will learn more about my rights. It may just be possible, that the employer will also learn how to be more culturally competent. Last but not least, I hope to be a good role model for students with a disability. I want to send a message that you can achieve your dreams and do what you want with or without a disability. So, I will keep you in the loop about what goes on and what I learn. Send good energy and good juju. Thank you for all the love and support.